Everyone gets jealous sometimes; the key word is extreme. Warning signs are when your partner gets mad if you talk to other people, have good friends, or express warm feelings for anyone else. The jealous person may withdraw, sulk, or become angry and abusive.
This becomes a danger sign when someone treats you as if you are a belonging. The possessive person will not want you to share time or give your attention to anyone else.
This happens when one partner completely rules the relationship and makes all the decisions. Your point of view is not important. Often the controlling partner tries to tell the other how to dress, who to talk to and where to go.
People with low self-esteem don’t like themselves very much. In a dating relationship, this person may say “I’m nothing without you” or “You are my world.” These are great lines for songs but not for real life.
Nobody stays in the same mood all the time, but a dramatic shift from being jealous, controlling, angry to being sweet, charming, and loving is another danger sign.
Many of the reported violent episodes in dating relationships are carried out when one or both partners have been drinking or using drugs. Alcohol and drug use lower a person’s self-control but are not the direct cause of violence.
Even if you have never seen someone being aggressive toward another person, watch out for people who seem to get too angry. These people may hit walls or lockers, yell loudly, call names or actually threaten others with violence.
Self-Worth: your sense of who you are in a relationship as an individual.
Communication: shapes the levels of honesty, directness and clarity in relationships.
Rules or Agreements: without rules or agreements confusion exists and expectations aren’t often met.
Link to Others: isolation can create serious problems for individuals and/or couples.
Feeling good, feeling worthy in a relationship can only happen when “individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible.”
Each has a life of its own, and, in healthy relationships, each one contributes to the others. If any one of the three dominates, the relationship falls out of balance.
Is my (other person’s) feeling of self-worth positive or negative?
How do I (she/he and we) communicate, and what happens as a result?
What kind of rules do I (she/he and we) follow, and do they work for me (us)?
How am I (she/he and we) linked to others, and what are the results?
If you believe you are being abused in your relationship, tell someone that you trust what has been going on, like a parent, teacher, police officer, friend, clergy member, school counselor, etc.